THE THREE MINUTE REVIEW: CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011) 2 MOUSTACHES
I was reading all of the hate for this movie on IMDB the other day, before I watched it and I was thinking there’s no way it could be as bad as people were making it out to be, but it sure was. It was...
View ArticleTHE WOODS (2006) FOUR TOP HATS
The Woods…. I’m a big fan of this movie. I’m all about it in fact. Bruce Campbell – whaaaaaaaaaaat? Agnes Bruckner! Rachel Nichols! Lucky McKee! Witches! Come on! I don’t think this was very well...
View ArticleRAZE (2013) FUCK YEAH!
*No one was drunk during the making of this post* WHHAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTT??? FUCK YES!!! This movie rocked my lame ass!! It’s fucking brutal!! It’s hot chicks in Tee-Shirts and sweats beating the shit...
View ArticleRAGE (2014) RAGE WITH CAGE!
I know my man Cage has made some shitty movies lately – or – for a long time now, but I still love the guy. I’m not sure why this movie exists but I watched it anyway and – sure – I liked it OK. I...
View ArticleP2 (2007) THREE TOP HATS
I remember being really excited about this thing when it came out. It was produced by Alexandre Aja who fucked some serious shit up in HIGH TENSION and had the babe from THE WOODS in it – as displayed...
View ArticleTHE AMITYVILLE HORROR (2005) FOUR MELISSA GEORGES
*NSFW NSFW* WOOO HOOOOO!!! It’s Friday and we get to look at something GOOD for a change!! Join us as we take a very serious and detailed look at the 2005 remake with Ryan Reynolds and Melissa George....
View ArticleTHE AMITYVILLE HAUNTING (2011) A REAL PILE OF SHIT
Want to read about one of the worst movies ever made in the history of mankind? Click above!!! FUCK THIS MOVIE AND FUCK THIS KID!
View ArticleTHE AMITYVILLE ASYLUM (2013) BULLSHIT
This is it!!!! The end of the line!!!!! Today our project ends and we move on to other things! Is it bittersweet??? Do we shed tears of joy or sadness? Do we embrace each other in fond farewell or...
View ArticleTHE AMITYVILLE PLAYHOUSE (2015) A REAL PIECE OF SHIT
I don’t get as many people coming by here as I used to – but – for the four of you who still do, you may remember when JB (Zoë) and I tackled entire movie franchises. Due to certain betrothals and...
View ArticleJB AND THE CHOP DO: AMITYVILLE TERROR (2016) A RETURN TO THE ABYSS
Today, young JB and I return to the abyss and bear witness to the atrocity that is a newish movie in the Amityville franchise. Do you remember that time you and your buddy went to that bar and spent...
View ArticleJB AND THE CHOP DO: AMITYVILLE EXORCISM (2017) FOUL AND REPELLENT
SO… I had to look up new synonyms for horrible for this thing… I found things like: dreadful, awful, terrible, shocking, appalling, horrifying, horrific, horrendous, horrid, hideous, grisly, ghastly,...
View ArticleJB AND THE CHOP DO: AMITYVILLE: THE AWAKENING (2017) BETTER THAN A PUNCH IN...
But not by much… click above to head over and see some of this: And a little bit of this: But none of this: And you definitely won’t feel like this:
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